Gala Hallelujah Blog

Moment to Moment

2011-08-27T16:44:00.003+10:00

A friend recently complimented me by saying that I underestimate my strength. She based this claim on the fact that I am able to commit wholeheartedly to things that have a no immediate pay-off.

The case in point, going back to become qualified as a psychologist, which not only is a commitment of 4+ years of delayed gratification, but one that (I laughed manically) isn’t even guaranteed. At the moment I am impelled furiously by needing to get uncannily high marks if I want to continue beyond this year. Thus, to me at least, this supposed strength seems born of necessity, not any core Herculean tendencies or ability to commit to anything beyond the next five minutes.

I always need a goal, one that is usually long-term and has little to no immediate gratification. It is like my rudder, it keeps me feeling directed and committed to a course of beneficial action. I rely on this rudder wholeheartedly because it somehow compensates for the rest of my behaviour; the spaces in-between that are comprised entirely of spontaneity.

Once an idea enters my mind, it will happen, either immediately or through a more protracted period of obsession while I wait to create the time and the means. I have no internal off switch: the part that says that’s enough! A lot of this spontaneity is inspiring, a lot is hazardous, but either high is kept somehow under control by this greater plan: it balances out my momentary distraction so they remain just that, momentary.

Having a larger goal, then, seems to provide me with a vicarious structure for self-discipline: a way to balance complete freedom and a greater purpose. Is this strength? I’m not so sure. Is it delayed gratification? Not when you have so many other ideas keeping you busy along the road.

Amidst this forward momentum and momentary distraction there is a constancy. It doesn’t come from all my internal inconsistency, but through somehow knowing that spirit is really in charge of it all. Most of my time is spent being grateful that I am on the ride at all. Trusting in the destination, trusting in a future that is yours - but is created out of more than you could ever be alone - is a true measure of strength.

Hearing the Call, Heeding the Call

2011-07-05T18:16:00.007+10:00

How much personal energy do we invest in denial and avoidance of the need for healing change? How much energy do we use to offset the guilt that develops when we resist these changes time and time again? How much bigger do the emotional elements of our core problems increase when they accumulate this kind of baggage overtime? And worst of all, how much is our spiritual core degraded when we can hear the call to change, but just can’t heed it?

I had the realization earlier this year that I really do spend more energy resisting change – change that is essential and inevitable – than it would to make lasting transformations occur in my life. I think this is true for most people and certainly appears to be reflected in contemporary therapeutic practice which increasingly puts personal insight in the backseat to focus on working through resistances to behavioral change. Somehow, it more startling to see that this was true even for someone like me though, who is, if anything, always stubbornly seeking growth and challenges. So, I am left with questions like those above that swing pendulously between change and stasis without ever really moving forward.

I question the way that I approach spiritual growth. Do I trust that it is it inline with what I can handle at the time, or are such pleasantries some form of meta-resistance; do I seek out the growth that is so

mehow more manageable, and certainly less scary, than the real thing? The latter of course is such an elaborately contentious form of denial: pirouetting around core wounding in the most delicate self-protective dance. Maybe is it possible to heal without direct confrontation and catharsis, but instead through a more measured accumulation of wisdom and strength? Peeling the layers of the onion until reaching a translucent, sweet core? I am unsure and the clumsy metaphors I could use to discuss this confusion are infinite.

What is the way forward? As always, Trust. At the moment, I am thinking trust and a splash of forgiveness. Forgive the limitations of our own fears and humanity, without seeing these limitations as either insurmountable or inevitable. Tangibly, forgive all the times you could have, should have, and would have. Reality is you didn’t, but you still can.

Then work on Will, yours and spirits, move forward together or you can’t move at all.

Metallic Kings and the Mastery of Mind and Money

2011-01-17T20:33:00.011+11:00

The answers to most of my questions at the moment present me with déjà-vu as the cards fall to reveal the bearers of steel and gold, The King of Swords and then The King of Pentacles. This is a short reflection of what this may be telling me and a possible way to marry the mastery represented in the two cards.

It is fair to say that my concerns at the moment are bordering on a palpable anxiety and the edges of panic. I’ve suddenly gone from a responsibility free lifestyle to one that is highly structured and demanding: a new course of intensive study, two new jobs and little-to-no downtime.

For whatever reason, maybe because of the abrupt change of everything at once, I feel like these new challenges are bringing up huge insecurities in the areas that these circumstances are meant to empower: increasing financial abundance and mental mastery.

The problem, for me, is one of tension and contradiction. I am stuck in a loop that is happy that I am employed but am concerned that it will take away my ability to succeed in my studies. Of course, the reverse applies, I believe that if I gave up one of my jobs I would be able to get great marks but would end up in serious financial strife. When I am feeling my best I can trust in the scenario as it stands, accepting with grace that god has provided me with everything that I wanted at this time and that I am worthy of the challenge of balance that spirit has provided to me.

When I look to the cards at the moment it is to seek advice surrounding some permutation of this dilemma. What has been uncanny has been the consistency in which the King of Swords and King of Pentacles have appeared in answer (probably because it takes me a little time to listen!).

The King of Swords is the card of mental mastery, the card that indicates a sharp and reasoned mind, one that is able to see past emotions and make rational decisions. It represents the kind of analytical mind that is closest to that of the psychologist, for it is the card of someone who has understood the complexities and irrationalities of their own mind and, in overcoming them, gains the clarity to understand the minds of others. That this card has been prominent at the moment, just as I am beginning a psychology degree, it is a heartening reminder that the energies around me support this undertaking. It would council that I am mentally prepared for this course not only through my previous study, but through my own development of a refined mind, which even in writing this piece is engaged in a constant process of observing and, perhaps, overcoming my own irrationalities.

The King of Pentacles is the master of financial success. It is a slightly hedonistic card, the story of the successful business man who has worked hard to get where he is and is now enjoying the bounty, or spoils of war, that are well deserved. I always have trouble relating to this card because I have a difficult relationship with money, I know that I am very lucky and I can magic it in when in real need, but subsist the rest of the time in that nexus of lower-class student poverty. I work to actively create a sense of abundance in my life by making the money I have go further through creative shopping and being a great affordable cook. So while I know how to survive and do it in style, money always makes me irrationally stressed because it sets me off balance: I have never found a way to not feel money rich/time poor or vice-versa. It would seem at this time that the King wants to tell me that my new found abundance is probably more secure than I feel it is, but also that hard work has its own pay-offs and that the free time I can find in my schedule may come to have a quality of richness that I have not experienced before.

As I mentioned earlier, my concerns seem to be ones of tension between the gratuity of money and the gratification of mind. What the Kings are asking me to do is question:

Money and Mind – How is it possible to master both?

As court cards these Kings are archetypes and represent patterns of energy that are open to all people at different times in their lives. Each court card may be one that speaks to our natural aptitudes or weaknesses, but nevertheless embody potential patterns for human attitudes and behaviors. As I have mentioned, the kings are cards of mastery, ones that relate to the specific elements of the tarot trumps (Sword as mind, reason and thought, Pentacle as money and physical reality). Because the kings are representations of mastery, these cards are uniquely energized with success. While it may be simple to interpret the cards by saying that my worries are unfounded and that I am, consequently, likely to experience success in these areas.

I am interested however, in thinking about how these two forms of mastery can be married together to make the kings can become life partners that support each other. My initial thoughts turned to the properties of the trumps of the cards and the fact that the sword and the pentacle are uniquely metal objects. As metal these would suggest that both these kings are uniquely tough and resilient and that the boons they offer are equally long lasting. The tools of these metallic kings are impervious, they are not insecure. Thus the council the kings offer is one not just of mastery, but one that makes use newly aware to our own quite tangible strength.

Neither of these cards is emotionally driven. One of the King of Swords tendencies, because of his objective orientation, is to repress emotion. Similarly the King of Pentacles is not given to emotional turmoil because he is more concerned with other indulgences (the more fun ones like sex and wine). Rather than a call to indulge my libido, the presence of these Kings tells me that perhaps getting emotionally tied up in my current situation is unnecessary and that my energies would be better placed in not admitting to any insecurity.

There is also a similar orientation of the cards in terms of worldview. While the King of Wands is stuck firmly in the past and the King of Cups looks forward to the future, the King of Pentacles and Swords are interested in dealing with the here and now, which is indicated by their front facing postures. While the gaze of the King of Pentacles lowered, indulging his ego in contemplating his own financial success, he is still as present as the King of Swords who directs his look penetratingly out of the card in a manner that is present and confidently prescient.

The suits of the cards can also be broken down to represent the elements of air (swords) and earth (pentacles). While I would be inclined intuitively to say that these are the least compatible arrangement of the four essential elements, their contrary nature is less apparent when they are mapped onto a medicine wheel. A medicine wheel is a shamanic map that is common to many cosmological systems that features a circle divided by a cross marking the four cardinal directions. It is a tool that is widely used in ceremony and path working and is used to map physical concepts (direction, the seasons, sun and moon phases, races) and more intangible symbolic systems (character, life cycle, mental state, energetic patterns). On the medicine wheel the elemental properties of air and earth are not oppositional but border each other in the positions of North and West respectively.*

What I like about this conjunction is that they breakdown the essential Cartesian dualism that separates the mind and the body, or here the mind and physical reality, and tell me loudly that the aims of mental and financial growth are complimentary. For instance, the north as the place of energy and insight can only be productive if this energy is integrated in the west by being brought down to earth and into physical reality. The council this offers me is the notion that thought or learning is not a state that can be perpetuated indefinitely, it is a peak experience that only becomes something closer to knowledge when it is integrated into a subjective-come-introspective worldview. Perhaps the first insight is that I have to break down my stubbornly dualist notion that separates the endeavors of the mind from those of the body and its physical reality!

To conclude, I will reaffirm the idea that the court cards represent archetypal energetic potentials that are in all of us. What the Kings energize is mastery of the elements, here those of pentacles and swords, that mediate the concerns of money and the mind. The Kings aid us in remembering our own true strengths and our ability to use past achievements and skills in successful ways, insights that are too often lost in the day-to-day experience of emotional tides and pressures.

*The directional attributions do differ between tribes and practitioners. Often the elements of Air and Earth are placed in the North and South respectively, which would support my intuition of the apparently oppositional nature of air and earth. However, the notions that the earth is the place in which high impulses or spiritual insight must be grounded remains relevant.

Friday Free Tarot Reading

2011-01-10T19:10:00.002+11:00

As a way to motivate me to update here often I am going to be offering one free three card tarot reading on Fridays for my readers.

Email me a question that you would like answered and I will pick one a week to respond to and share here. You will remain anonymous.

Questions can be of any nature, big or small, and I encourage any followers to contribute comments on what they see in the cards.

Send questions to galahallelujahATgmailDOTcom

New Year Prediction 2011

2011-01-10T18:47:00.008+11:00

My new year’s tradition is a get together of what I call the ‘psychic friends network,’ the people in my life who are switched on! Apart from eating and gossiping, the main point of the day, which everyone itches for anxiously, is when the tarot cards come out for a yearly forecast. It’s great fun to hear the complimentary and contradictory interpretations from this crowd of professional readers, healers, and dabblers like me.

Last years cards resonated strongly: The 7 of cups and my inability to see a clear path, desire or direction, the 3 of wands with my constant moving home and restless spirit, and the Knight of Swords who spent a lot of time angry due mainly to the previous two conditions!

So what can I expect from this years lineup?

Oh, how I groaned! I am always a pessimist when reading for myself, so this re-interpretation definitely reflects that.

In 2011 I am heading into a 5 year and have been thinking about it for a few weeks. I decided that I hate the fives for their sense of disunity, particularly in the sense of geomancy, where the 4 points of a perfect square are appended with a single point. The image that results is a sort of pyramid. In the positive sense this shape points towards ascension, but is based upon upsetting stability through spiritual challenge.

So when I landed two fives, I was not happy, but at least I know what aspects of the five I have to work on! The five of pentacles speaks of a lack of belief in the self and spirit. For me personally however, I think this card is definitely a call to challenge my poverty consciousness, which is pretty ingrained and fundamental in my world view. I need to empower new financial opportunities in ways that don’t make me feel overwhelmed, or else the tendency in this card is to abandon a challenge. This card also suggests a lack of physical equilibrium – I sat in this card once for a year with a busted knee – it was a perfect lesson but hopefully I can circumvent the physical manifestations by tackling my problematic beliefs head on!

The 5 of Wands is a card I find to be one of feeling unremarkable, of always having to fight hard to prove your merit as an individual. It came up a lot last year in relation to looking for work and job interviews, becoming an omen for not having enough experience or the personal qualities that would see me successful in a competitive marketplace. This card really offends my personal sensibilities, which sounds silly, but it is because my tendencies towards overt eccentricity are incongruous with its normality-come-drudgery. On the plus, it may mean that I gain a sense that I am more compatible with the rest of the world than I might think. What it really sung to me was that I need to buckle down and work hard at university this year – I won’t have the natural talent and ease that I have had studying in other areas – but instead will be challenged by new material that I don’t know how to navigate. The five of wands also indicates a lot more social activity, particularly with like-minded people, but also suggests that the year might be marked with conflict.

For me the Queen of Pentacles was the anchor of this prediction – it is what will make these struggles worthwhile. The reason I am returning to study were to pursue the Queen’s ability to manifest a comfortable living, financial abundance and the space for creative projects in her life. I just need to meet the challenges that will allow this to be a possibility in my future. The end of the year should see a return to greater ease. I will use this card as an ideal for my living situation in the year to come, one that may see me stop moving so much, and settle somewhere where I can grow a beautiful garden, inside and out.

I picked up an agate pyramid on the same weekend – part of my usual pattern of picking up second hand items that become unexpectedly meaningful - so I will use this as a good reminder to work on focusing the potential for assention, rather than disunity, that can be brought about in this year of fives.

How To: Be Your Own Biggest Fan

2011-01-03T16:47:00.004+11:00

“You Are Your Own Biggest Fan” is a part mantra, part activity that came out of nowhere. I have been trying to turn it into a daily philosophy because it is so simple and playful, yet has a great message to promote optimism, enthusiasm and self love.

The idea that 'you are your own biggest fan' emerged from feelings of loneliness and general unease with the fact that it was Christmas time and I had no one to spend it with. This is not true in a physical sense, I have some family nearby that I am grateful for, but is an unease that was based on my feelings that there is no-one in my life whom my existence is contingent upon (nor anyone that I could be equally meaningful to). This fact isn’t a failure, some would call this kind of blessing ‘freedom,’ or at least one of the freeing steps towards enlightenment. However, the fact that this manifests in feelings of unease, or dis-ease, made me question the underlying cause.

I realize that these feelings are part of a tendency (one that is not unique to me) to seek validation and meaning through our relationships with others. A social condition, certainly, insists that the self is contingent upon others and their vociferous presence in our lives.

But basing our self worth, self judgment, and relative merit upon the relative abundance or lack of loving people in one’s life is a dangerous game. The fact remains that people leave us, we break up, we move on, we even die. There is a flow of contingencies that effect the amount of people who remain meaningful to us and very few of these contingencies are directly linked to any inherent loss of our own value. Being your own biggest fan is about reclaiming the right to determine our own worth, rather than through the judgment, or often misjudgment, of partners, family, friends, colleagues and strangers. After all, there is a serious imbalance if their estimations of ourselves are placed upon a pedestal as being more important than our own.

A friend recently reminded me of the simplest psychological fact: Our relationship with ourselves is the primary relationship that defines our lives. There is no use thinking that a new partner or better friends will change our lives in any fundamental way, it’s our relationship with ourselves that we have to get right and put the most effort into. This isn’t a novel idea by any stretch, but it is one that is readily forgotten amid social pressures and the quick-fix validation and love we can glean from others.

In response, being your own biggest fan could sit happily under the banner of many self-love or self-esteem building techniques, but it is somehow more playful. It is a simple way to start thinking about improving your relationship with yourself and the way you talk to yourself, without the weight or pressure of serious analysis (which, lets face it, is more than we can often handle when feeling less that ourselves).

The Idea:

The idea is simple. Become a genuine fan of yourself! It works through the law of attraction, where like attracts like, and works on an axiom that the proportion of love you receive from others can be no greater than the love you are willing show yourself. As such, we cannot expect anyone else to be a fan of ourselves, and hence participate positively in our lives, unless we can appreciate ourselves in the same way.

Becoming your own biggest fan is undeniable because of the following facts:

You are, and always will be, your own biggest fan
You are your own biggest fan because you know yourself better than anyone else
And you cannot expect anyone to be a fan of you, if you are not a fan of yourself

Being your own biggest fan is expansive in quality, the biggest is descriptive: it describes an opening of self and self perception to greater love and acceptance. Changing your self perception is the first step, and requires a reorientation that moves away from negative scripts to positive experiences.

Negative scripts are those critical judgments that we allow to mediate our experiences of the world. The simplest in this case is “I’m unloved.” If you decide to be a real fan of yourself, guess what, feeling unloved is no longer possible, instead you must be loved because fans are loving!

Being your own biggest fan, then, is about changing your self perception. Part of this is realizing that negative scripts are often not our own, but come from non-fans, that we adopt as ways to judge our experiences

The fact is, no- one else’s praise or criticism will change anything about you
It is your choice to experience negative judgments: when you accept them they just build or reconfirm beliefs that you already have about yourself.
The good news is: You can improve the things that you do not like about yourself (whereas no one else’s opinion can change a thing!)

Because our experience is governed by what we allow ourselves to feel – by the way we positively or negatively narrate our experiences - someone who feels fundamentally unloved is unlikely to accept love from anyone. The best news is this:

Being a fan is also forgiving!
This is because fans are fanatical in nature and overlook any flaws in their idol
We need to feel this way about ourselves: we must love ourselves enough so that any of our failings are overwhelmed by this love.
We can forgive and accept ourselves in genuine ways because our relationship to ourselves is directed by love, not by judgment, failure and negativity

Again, being your own biggest fan is expansive and it supports the law of attraction (where like-attracts-like). If we can replace our negative scripts with a forgiving fandom, we open ourselves to positive experiences at all times.

As we open our person to loving ourselves our capacity to receive love is increased
Our capacity to give love is also increased

This means that the relationships that we develop become genuine and reciprocal on an emotional and spiritual level
And that, no matter how many people are in our lives, we experience love
Remember the law of attraction? Our chances to experience love and positivity expand exponentially, all by being greater fans of ourselves!

The Practice:

While so far I have tried to outline some of the ideas that seem to organically flow out of the idea of being your own biggest fan, practicing this concept is less multifaceted. Because being your own biggest fan is a matter of re-orientating ones attitude to self, use it to replace some of the negative scripts that exist in your mental chatter, by saying as a mantra:

I Am My Own Biggest Fan!

Say it to yourself when you start the day, write it on a piece of paper and stick it where it can’t be ignored, say it to yourself when you need a pick me up. Say it to reinforce good experiences and say it to counter the bad. It is a mantra that is playful, but that will motivate you towards greater love, towards change, towards openness, towards confidence, and most importantly, towards forgiveness.

You can elaborate this mantra into a stream of consciousness exercise by saying these variations out loud until you have exhausted all your options. It can be done by talking out loud or through writing, but either way can be very cathartic because it can release our built up anxieties and replace them with a positive concept. For example;

Even though I … (negative quality)… I am my own biggest fan.

Even though I don’t have a boyfriend, I am my own biggest fan

Even though I don’t like my body, I am my own biggest fan

Even though I’m feeling unloved, I am my own biggest fan

As a follow up, it might be good to reinforce yourself as someone worth idolizing through the following variation:

I am my own biggest fan because… (positive quality)

I am my own biggest fan because I love my dress sense

I am my own biggest fan because I finished a school project

I am my own biggest fan because I have successful children

If you keep up with it, I’m sure that the second list will one day be the longer one!

In conclusion, while I will continue longing for the true presence of meaningful people in my life everyday (whether or not it is Christmas), I think that being my own biggest fan is possibly the best strategy to feel better about myself and to stop unconsciously seeking validation from others. So far it has eased my unease, but I’m sure that it that will also encourage me to allow more love in my life.

Introducing the Author

2010-12-25T12:01:00.005+11:00

This is an introductory post to let you know a little about me. I hope that this will help you as a reader understand some of the experiences and attitudes that inform the writing and advice available here.

My name is Gala Hallelujah, I am 26 and live in Melbourne, Australia. I am part artist, part academic, part shaman, but I am mainly just someone who is on the path: seeking knowledge, growth and enlightenment amidst everyday life.

I grew up in a new-age household, which put me on the path from an early age. My mother runs the fabulous Australian School of Tarot that offers tarot readings and classes. I have completed her courses, so my main modality has been Tarot reading. I also work intuitively, practice reiki, have experience with a wide array of development techniques and alternative therapies, have participated in a lot of ceremony and am gifted with the ability to work with sound healing. I am influenced by western esotericism, shamanism, Christianity, voodoo and popular culture.

I see my life as a journey that is oriented to spiritual learning and see most actions as part of my daily practice. This is because it is what I discover along the way - by being open to spiritual guidance and listening intuitively - that brings me the greatest spiritual insight and understanding. Hopefully I can share some of it here with like-minded individuals.

To keep myself happy I paint. I am currently working on painting a series of mandalas that work to embody spiritual energies and symbols. They are designed for healing and meditation, but are also great fun to put on a wall. I will feature images of these on here as they are made! I also love to sing and create music and am often humming away, making tunes, performing and enjoying the incredible vibrations that music brings into your life.

I have a Masters in Cinema Studies and am currently studying to become a psychologist. In the long term, I’m working on becoming a therapist that works between mainstream and metaphysical modalities. Considering this aim, this blog is a way to start thinking about psychology and spirituality in practice and to start expanding upon some of the ideas that I think bring the two together.

I hope that you find something in this blog that helps you in your journey.

Love and Light - Gala